By: Alexis Beckford, MSW, LCSW
The holiday season, filled with peace, joy, and relaxation, offers children, teens, and their families a much-needed respite from the demands of daily life. Families enjoy vacations, informal daily structures, and an escape from the usual rigors of academic, work-related, and extracurricular commitments. While these festive times bring about cherished memories, serenity, and opportunities for bonding, they also carry a bittersweet undertone, as the impending return to regular routines looms on the horizon. As the holiday cheer fades, readjusting to the structured environment of school and daily life can present a significant challenge for many children and teens. The transition back into a world of set bedtimes, reduced free time, and academic pressures can lead to heightened anxiety and reluctance among young ones, with some expressing a keen aversion to returning to school.
As an experienced child and adolescent therapist, I am all too familiar with many of the struggles children and teens experience with the return to routine following the holiday season. As the holiday season draws to a close, I want to offer some helpful tips to equip parents, guardians, and caregivers with the necessary tools to assist kiddos with any challenges readjusting. Let’s explore how to adequately prepare for the return to regular routine.
Transitions and the Brain
Have you ever found yourself or one of your kiddos struggling to get out of bed in the mornings after a restful good night’s sleep? Hitting the snooze button several times? What about seeming incoherent as you struggle to adjust your eyes and ears to the many sounds that come along with a hectic weekday morning. This is completely normal. According to the Sleep Foundation, the brief time between when the body transitions from sleep to being awake is referred to as Sleep inertia. Sleep Inertia can cause grogginess, disorientation, and even cognitive impairment immediately after waking. The effects typically last around 30 to 60 minutes but may persist for up to several hours.
Similar to sleep inertia is what I like to call the ‘brain boost period.’ This is the time between when the brain and body transition from rest mode to reset mode. Some people have an easier time with this than others. While one person may only require a brain boost of a few minutes, another person may require an hour. A transition is an adjustment period and the time each person requires to adjust to something varies from person to person.
The Differences Between Rest and Reset Mode
During Rest mode, the mind and body are at rest. While in this state, people tend to be relaxed and easygoing. For some, this could mean watching a tv show, playing on a tablet, or even relaxing on the couch. There’s no strenuous physical or mental work happening during this time, and all time and energy is devoted to the body and mind’s restful state and personal satisfaction.
During Reset mode, the mind alerts the body that rest time is up and it’s time to switch gears and spring into action. While in this state, people prepare for physical and mental tasks, and they begin to focus on school or work. They are preparing to be in action of some sort.
The Pressures of Transitioning from Rest to Reset Mode After the Holidays
Think of the holidays as an extended rest mode. Children and teens are on a break from school, they’re spending more time with family and friends, they have more free time to engage in the leisure activities they love, the nuances of the weekday structure and routine are absent. For some children, transitioning from rest to reset mode after the holidays where the structured weekday schedule resumes, school’s back in session, and there’s less free time can be anxiety inducing.
As therapists, we frequently see a spike in child anxiety and stress levels as the holidays draw to a close and schedules and routines return to normal. Why is that? Similar to the sleep inertia that some experience in the mornings when it’s time to wake up, some children struggle more than others during the brain boost period. Essentially, it takes more time for these children to transition their minds and bodies from rest mode into reset mode. This results in increased pressure for these children as they may feel that they haven’t had ample time to prepare for the upcoming transitions.
How to Help Your Child Transition from Rest to Reset Mode After the Holidays
To facilitate a smooth adjustment, it is crucial to gradually reintroduce structure into daily routines. Here, I’ll introduce five steps that serve as the key to a child’s successful return to structure following the holidays.
Step 1: Feelings Check In
It’s important to have the conversation with your child about the upcoming return to routine. Ask your child how they’re feeling after the holidays and how they anticipate the return to routine will go. Encouraging children and teens to express their feelings about returning to school and extracurriculars and reassuring them by discussing any anxieties or concerns, can be very beneficial. Parents and caregivers should humanize themselves during this talk. Share with your child how you’re feeling about returning to busy workdays after enjoying time off during the holidays. Children may feel more comfortable opening up if you model this for them.
If a child expresses anxiety about returning to school, encourage positive reflections on any past academic achievements, school related activities, or positive social supports they have at school. This might motivate children and teens to focus on some of the positives about returning to school. If needed, plan to reach out and collaborate with teachers to identify any specific academic struggles early on to provide tailored support.
Step 2: Offer Support
Change and transitions tend to be easier for most when support is available. Discuss the return to routine with your child and present yourself as a support system to help them stay accountable and provide encouragement. Parents and caregivers should foster open communication, offering emotional support and understanding. Let your child know that you are here to support them. Share with them that the return to routine will begin a few days prior to school starting back to give them plenty of time to adjust.
Step 3: Reestablish Bedtime ASAP
Parents and caregivers can assist their child by slowly aligning wake-up and bedtime routines with school schedules a few days before school resumes. It is recommended to start this at least 3-4 days prior to school starting back. Do not wait until the night before the first day back to school to have your child return to a regular sleep schedule. This applies to teens too. Ensure they get to bed at a time that allows sufficient sleep to wake up for school the next day.
Step 4: Reestablish a Predictable Routine
It can be helpful for many children to have a predictable and structured routine during the weekdays. Begin limiting screen time and promoting outdoor activities a few days prior to school starting which can also contribute to smoother readjustment. Create a calendar or physical schedule and review any weekly responsibilities such as chores, extracurriculars, social events, and of course, family time. Review the grocery list to ensure kids have their favorites for lunch and snacks to take to school. Make sure school clothes are clean and set out a few days before school resumes. Parents and caregivers should model positive attitudes toward daily responsibilities to inspire similar behavior in their children. Emphasize the importance of sleep, nutrition, and exercise which can further support young minds during this transition and recreate a sense of daily normalcy.
Step 5: Incorporate Patience & Praise
Lastly, parents and caregivers should remain patient and adaptable, acknowledging that each child's adjustment process is unique and requires thoughtful guidance. Be sure to praise both attempts and successes. Did your child attempt to get off the tablet at bedtime but have difficulty? Praise the attempt and ask what you can do to help them succeed the next night. Is your child expressing something that they are looking forward to after the return to school? This is a success, praise it! Let them know that you are so happy to hear that they are looking forward to getting back to school. Recognizing and celebrating small achievements during this period can boost a child’s confidence and motivation.
Conclusion: A Fresh Restart
As we begin this new year, prepare to say farewell to the holidays, and work to reestablish a daily structured routine, I invite you to embrace your child’s transition from rest to reset mode with patience, kindness, and intention. Rather than setting rigid expectations the night before school returns that may leave you or your child feeling defeated, allow yourself and your child a slow, tapered restart by engaging in mutual conversations about the transition and any associated feelings, getting started a few days in advance, and normalizing any stress or anxiety that may arise during the process.
If you’d like support in helping your child with embracing the return to routine, our staff at The Zen Den Counseling and Wellness can help. We offer a compassionate and safe space for children to explore their emotions and overcome challenges. We wish you and your child success as you return to your routine following the holidays.
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